I don’t naturally fall into reflective rhythms during the year, and I relish the opportunity summer brings to slow down and reflect. Marlborough, New Hampshire, where my wife Nancy and I have been going since we were 18 years old, is one of those places that actually feels lost in time.
Recently, I had the opportunity to hear some particularly apt reflections from the Right Reverend Mark Beckwith, Bishop of Newark, New Jersey. Bishop Beckwith talked about the fundamental balance between truth and love. Love and truth cannot separately fulfill their potential, he said. They reach full expression working together. Truth without love is coarse and even dangerous. Love without truth is the worst version of a bad greeting card—sappy and vacuous. Their impact on our lives and environments is most effective when they are working dynamically as a pair; together, truth and love help create a world that is just and realistic, and at the same time caring and harmonious.
People in every community need to trust one another, to have faith in one another. We have all felt the effect of a motivated group’s believing intensely in its own truth, but lacking appropriate respect, trust, faith, and in fact, love. Milton has always stood for excellent discourse. Today, some of the most powerful models for civil discourse are our own students.
Bishop Beckwith made me think about Sam Schleifer ’11, a student speaker at his own graduation. Sam has an impressive intellect and a discernible edge. Adept at finding the “truth,” Sam earned the role of Milton Measure editor. Sam’s tendency was to be pugnacious; his attraction to “gotcha” journalism made certain administrators a little uneasy, as he took up the editorial reins. Like many other Milton students, Sam learned to balance his irrepressible desire to impart the truth with a compassionate filter. One of the trickiest balancing acts for school editors and writers is generating humor that isn’t mean-spirited. Good humor has an edge, especially in high schools. Editorial staffs must balance the intense pressure to be outrageous—pushing past boundaries sometimes—and the need for appropriate care and empathy for the students, faculty and staff that surround them. Erring on the outrageous side can do real damage, creating laughs at others’ expense. On a notable occasion, the Milton Measure printed a simple, highly inappropriate tagline about a senior faculty member. Sam blew a gasket and engaged his peers about it on the spot. “How could we be so insensitive?” he wanted to know.
Having struggled intensely with himself, with his peers and with his conscience, Sam grew. Watching Sam grow, mature and ultimately express his profound gratitude for Milton was one of my proudest moments here.
Many alumni ask, “Are you happy at Milton?” Our motto is central to my respect and affection for this School. When Milton is at its best, Dare to Be True not only proclaims the truth, it is enriched by love for justice, for integrity, for ideals, and for our fellow man. “Dare to be true,” our watchword, as well as one of our most revered School values, is more relevant than ever.
– Todd B. Bland
Editor’s note: Mr. Bland shared these words with students and faculty at Convocation on September 7, 2012.