What to Wear for the Rest of Your Life

In her Graduation speech to Milton’s Class of 2025, Alison Fitzgerald Kodjak ’87 encouraged new grads to be open and bold. The following is an excerpt.

My graduation day wasn’t the only time I paraded around this campus in a white dress. Ten years later I was back to get married.

One of the things about getting married, especially for women, is there is a lot of thought and attention that goes into what you wear. My fiancé and I were on a pretty tight budget, so my sister was going to make my dress. 

We had to pick out a pattern. In my mind, I was going to wear a sophisticated, simple sheath of a dress. No frills, no fuss, just elegance. We went to some fancy stores where they bring you dresses and you stand on a platform with mirrors all around. We went through racks and racks of gowns. I tried on everything. And as I did, my preferences… let’s just say they evolved. 

On the day of the wedding, when I walked up that hill to the chapel door, there was no elegant sheath. I had on a giant princess dress. Trim bodice and big skirt. It had dozens of tiny buttons down the back. There were silk flowers with tiny green leaves on the shoulders and back. There was a tulle petticoat underneath to make the skirt even bigger. There was a bustle. 

I loved it. 

I’m telling you this story because today, as you sit there, heading to college or whatever your next step is going to be, you may have this image of who you are, who you will become. 

You may today see yourself as a future doctor or CEO or senator. You may be planning to major in economics or history or chemistry. And that’s all great. But keep the door open. Be curious and be bold. 

Try on a lot of dresses! 

Some of them you won’t like. But you will definitely discover new things that interest you, things that you never thought you’d be good at—and things that you’re not good at but you love doing anyway. And in that process, you will discover new things about yourselves. 

And when you’re done with college, I want you to carry this openness with you through your life. 

I never worked on a school paper or took a journalism class—and the two years after I got my bachelor’s degree, I was a little bit lost. I had a boring, dead-end job where all I did was read the paper, and I decided to give journalism a shot. I also promised myself that if I found it wasn’t for me, I wasn’t going to stick it out and hate it. I would quit. Because you can always change your mind.   

That’s the beauty of trying on a lot of dresses: If you don’t like the one you’re wearing, you can put on something else. So, be curious and bold. Take that job in Alaska. If you hate it, you can always come back. 

And if you decide you don’t like the dress you’re wearing—when you change your mind—that doesn’t mean you wasted your time. Because everything you do—whether you love it or hate it, whether you succeed or fail—adds to who you are and expands who you can become. 

So, as you head into this next chapter of your life, I hope you’ll try on a lot of dresses. (Or pantsuits. Or jumpsuits. Bathing suits? Whatever suits you.) 

I hope you’ll stay curious. I hope you’ll stay kind. Above all, I hope you’ll dare—dare to be curious, dare to be open, and “Dare to be true.”