Talbot Speaker: Wonderful and Worthy—Students Are Already There
“How would you engage in your life if you knew you were wonderful just as you are?” the clinical psychologist Adia Gooden asked Milton students. “I want you to think about what you would have the courage to do if you knew you were worthy.”
Gooden, the director of community programs and outcome measurement at the Family Institute at Northwestern University, visited campus in January as the Talbot Speaker. She spoke with students about the issues of imposter syndrome and low self-worth, the feelings that make even the highest achievers feel unworthy in their day-to-day lives.
Imposter syndrome makes a person feel they don’t belong in a place, even when they have been specifically chosen to be there. For students at a selective school like Milton, or for adults in their workplaces, that feeling can manifest in different ways: People may “make themselves small” and fly under the radar for fear that others will discover they don’t belong; they may procrastinate on tasks they feel unqualified to complete; or they may put unsustainable pressure on themselves to be perfect.
Low self-worth can affect anyone, Gooden said, and she believes it is at the root of many mental illnesses. People are constantly exposed to messages—internal and external—that tell them they’re not adequate for various reasons, and those in marginalized communities are especially vulnerable, she explained.
Struggle and discomfort are normal, even helpful, parts of growth. A person’s value is not in their possessions or achievements but in their individuality, Gooden reminded her audience. She offered four strategies to help students feel worthy and gain a sense of belonging: Practice self-acceptance; practice self-compassion, especially after mistakes, and allow yourself to feel your real emotions; connect to supportive people; and identify your unique strengths and what you can contribute to your community.
The Samuel S. Talbot ’65 Memorial Fund for Counseling and Community Issues, established in 1993, enhances
the School’s efforts to teach community members about behavioral issues.